Sweeping

i wondered if i had a physical job to  balance contemplation with.  I was a slow learner. I had to sweep the castle, the yard, the balcony, the front and back steps.  I would have to sweep every day, and it was completely acceptable to contemplate while I swept.  Actually, contemplation during sweeping was encouraged, until I learned to meditate better.  jgp

It is a beautiful job, but it is so hard.

Internal martial arts 

Visible to few

Exhaustion the worst effect

time just goes away

night is day all the time.

Beauty is nice and good

but it is heavy

it wants, it deserves

there is not enough attention

but i give you heart and soul and

I know

You know.

I wanted so much to not believe, because everything was hurting.  Without ..d though I was nothing, there was nothing, so I believed because I wanted to be.

a best friend

God was such a great friend because I always had a companion, even when I was alone in a crowded room.  I felt most alone in crowded places.  The castle was quiet, and that was good. I could listen to god better when it was quiet.

Volunteer

My boss instructed me to search for a volunteer position to meet some people, and get out of the castle once in a while. I had no luck so far. I was turned away from the first two places that I applied to volunteer for.  I would try again tomorrow.

The City

My boss sent a car for me today.  I was driven to Polis, the nearest city.  I was instructed to walk around and observe and report back. I noticed many people all going in different directions in an environment that showed great love for people.  Sidewalks, storefronts, traffic lights, police stations, firetrucks, food stands, offices, shelters, parks, taxis, buses, roads, displays, fashion, cafes, bridges, everything I saw was made to please and accommodate each other. I saw that people wanted so much to make things for each other, to share what they made with other people, to make other people happy.

charity

I was supposed to pick a charity today. My boss sent me a text: Pick a charity. I had six hours to contemplate and respond.  I had never been so uneasy before.  I couldn't remain calm and focus. I found the assignment agitating. I chose to sit on a chair to contemplate this question of charity. I would know how my boss felt about my answer from his text response.  I sat and thought.  For any one charity I decided to support, I would be making a decision not to support millions of others. When it came time for my answer I didn't respond to the question. I texted him that charity is not good, it perpetuates poverty. The charity I choose is the institution of charity.  Charity is what needs the most help today, it needs to improve itself, to become a company that all the poor work for, so that they won't need charity.