a best friend

God was such a great friend because I always had a companion, even when I was alone in a crowded room.  I felt most alone in crowded places.  The castle was quiet, and that was good. I could listen to god better when it was quiet.

The City

My boss sent a car for me today.  I was driven to Polis, the nearest city.  I was instructed to walk around and observe and report back. I noticed many people all going in different directions in an environment that showed great love for people.  Sidewalks, storefronts, traffic lights, police stations, firetrucks, food stands, offices, shelters, parks, taxis, buses, roads, displays, fashion, cafes, bridges, everything I saw was made to please and accommodate each other. I saw that people wanted so much to make things for each other, to share what they made with other people, to make other people happy.

another day

in many ways i was a perpetual novice, going around and around in circles and getting nowhere, and yet somehow, rather often, i would realize that i was in a position of great fortune. i knew that the way i got there, was due to hard work.  I worked really hard, always, determined to maintain the success that was always a part of who I was.  The castle that I had been assigned to was really nice.  It had spiritual significance and transcendental essence.  It was a quiet location, yet not isolated, and it was perched on a cliff with views for miles across the land, and it had a courtyard.

The courtyard was central to the monastery.  It housed the soul and offered peace.  Souls without bodies coexist and are whole, they are god because they become one.  A soul blends together with other souls as the essences are drawn together harmoniously, organically, and effortlessly.  This blending together is transcendental.  We are capable of combining our souls when they are within our bodies too, this is called temporal love.  The soul could be felt in the courtyard because interferences were kept away  by the surrounding four walls.  It was a great space to go to and listen really well to the wind.

I sat in the courtyard for six hours today. On a bench. It was cold. I had a coat on. I would have been perfectly comfortable if my back did not start hurting. My back discomfort was the only thing that was distracting me from the beautiful darkness I was observing with my third eye. I was happy and sad at the same time.  Happy because of everything that I had and sad for everything that was so hard for me to understand. I tried really hard to pretend that I understood what was going on.  Luckily, the boss was not telling me to go.  Every day I expected a text from him that would ask me to leave, but that text never came.  I must have been doing what was expected of me, so I continued to pray and be thankful for this wonderful job that was available for me.

meal plan

The meal plan in the castle was not fantastic neither terrible. I would never have imagined how much I would love a cheesy ravioli swimming in tomato sauce.  I saw it on the plate and wanted to eat it up, until upon closer examination, I realized an unpleasant smell.  I got closer and closer and the smell grew worse and worse, until it was simply pungent.  It was not cheese ravioli at all, but rather beef ravioli.  And not only beef ravioli, but the worst kind imaginable, the canned kind, with a white blubbery film around each puff, with some even stuck together.  They smelled like tin and plastic.  How could I eat this, I was instantly repulsed.  I turned away and didn't eat that soup of a mess. There were always apples and walnuts in the library.  I could always eat that.