a best friend

God was such a great friend because I always had a companion, even when I was alone in a crowded room.  I felt most alone in crowded places.  The castle was quiet, and that was good. I could listen to god better when it was quiet.

Volunteer

My boss instructed me to search for a volunteer position to meet some people, and get out of the castle once in a while. I had no luck so far. I was turned away from the first two places that I applied to volunteer for.  I would try again tomorrow.

The City

My boss sent a car for me today.  I was driven to Polis, the nearest city.  I was instructed to walk around and observe and report back. I noticed many people all going in different directions in an environment that showed great love for people.  Sidewalks, storefronts, traffic lights, police stations, firetrucks, food stands, offices, shelters, parks, taxis, buses, roads, displays, fashion, cafes, bridges, everything I saw was made to please and accommodate each other. I saw that people wanted so much to make things for each other, to share what they made with other people, to make other people happy.

another day

in many ways i was a perpetual novice, going around and around in circles and getting nowhere, and yet somehow, rather often, i would realize that i was in a position of great fortune. i knew that the way i got there, was due to hard work.  I worked really hard, always, determined to maintain the success that was always a part of who I was.  The castle that I had been assigned to was really nice.  It had spiritual significance and transcendental essence.  It was a quiet location, yet not isolated, and it was perched on a cliff with views for miles across the land, and it had a courtyard.

The courtyard was central to the monastery.  It housed the soul and offered peace.  Souls without bodies coexist and are whole, they are god because they become one.  A soul blends together with other souls as the essences are drawn together harmoniously, organically, and effortlessly.  This blending together is transcendental.  We are capable of combining our souls when they are within our bodies too, this is called temporal love.  The soul could be felt in the courtyard because interferences were kept away  by the surrounding four walls.  It was a great space to go to and listen really well to the wind.

I sat in the courtyard for six hours today. On a bench. It was cold. I had a coat on. I would have been perfectly comfortable if my back did not start hurting. My back discomfort was the only thing that was distracting me from the beautiful darkness I was observing with my third eye. I was happy and sad at the same time.  Happy because of everything that I had and sad for everything that was so hard for me to understand. I tried really hard to pretend that I understood what was going on.  Luckily, the boss was not telling me to go.  Every day I expected a text from him that would ask me to leave, but that text never came.  I must have been doing what was expected of me, so I continued to pray and be thankful for this wonderful job that was available for me.

no job description

 

Every time there was a social gathering of the local kind I felt that chit chat was useless.  I preferred the loving glow of a gentle silence.  I enjoyed the work at the castle because it was meditative.  I could wash the windows, and see trees, sky, clouds, lakes and bridges.  It was interesting because there was no job description, and I was in a constant state of questions.  I was given tasks and I was paid with shelter and basic necessities.  I was compensated very well, so i didn't mind the mystery of my position, and neither did I purposely use my benefits just because they were there.  I only used the car and driver to get to the airport if I were traveling, and even then many times I would walk.

One of the assignments given to me were to socialize.  Boss sent me to a wedding.  It was an odd social exercise.  In church no one spoke and then at the reception there were speeches, and loud music.  When anyone spoke to me I couldn't hear a thing because the music was too loud.

It was lucky how I got my job.  I was at an odd place at a strange time.  There was a line of young men going into a side entrance of a building.  I wasnt sure why and I just went into the building with them and started lifting boxes onto shelves.  I had nothing else to do so it seemed nice to get a glimpse of what it would be like to have a job. I never had a job before.  No one noticed or spoke to me.  I followed everybody to a valet area.  Each of us were assigned a driver and driven to their "castle", and dropped off at the main gate with a texting device.  I had been so lost up until this morning, that I welcomed the direction from the driver and the shelter of the castle.

The place was not creepy at all.  I just went in and saw a broom so I started sweeping because I didn't know what else to do.  The common denominator for this job, that I understood looking back, was that there was no description and the entire job had to be figured out in increments.

Draw, draw, draw

I sat to to draw. I followed an unknown will. It felt so useless but it was all I could do. I was afraid that by the end of my stay at the castle, I would not have accomplished or recorded anything magnificent at all, but rather a doodle.  I yearned for a connection with divinity.  My quest consumed me.  My constant disappointment eroded my patience little by little.

Disclaimer

 A disclaimer hangs over me like a grey cloud, and I wish to speak it before I say anything to anybody because when we speak we give glimpses, that may be factual or not and many time they can be misconstrued.  If I wait to develop an idea fully I may never speak beyond, hello, how are you? I'm fine thank you, how are you?

This bloom (fictional work of literature presented in a blog format as it emerges from my imagination) is a work of fiction based solely on the imagination of the author.  Any resemblance to anything or anyone real/living/deceased is purely coincidental and is not meant to cause any harm or infringement in any way.  Nor does this work represent in any way my true feelings and attitudes towards anything or anyone in particular, or whatsoever in any way fashion or form.  This is a work of art in fictional blog format. I'm writing an open book, and sharing the story, as it unfolds.  It is not a free writing exercise or a journal, it is english literature.

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