pushing god away

   

The more i try to push god away the more i desire to understand life's mysteries. there are times when i am in the castle for days without seeing another person. I entertain myself, with writing, gardening, cooking, reading, painting, meditation, and sleeping, and there is the dog.  Today i wanted to wear a tie, and I had an internal dialogue.  I asked myself, why would I wear a tie when no one will see me..., if there is a god, god will see me. I did wear the tie, to thank god for all the riches that god offered me.  After I wore the tie I painted this picture of boats to show god my further thanks.